Lost in Hope

There he was in another’s arms. She watched silently from afar. She felt a strange heaviness in her heart. It was as if something was filling up in her heart against her will.

She forced a smile for him. The more she tried, the more it hurt. He smiled at her from the distance. He seemed happy but she wanted to cry. She watched them; there were many things she wanted to tell him; but she couldn't. 

Was this really happening? Was he really going away? Has she lost him forever?

Sometimes it’s too late. Too late to make amends. Too late to say anything. Too late to go back and live some more. Too late to cherish what was there. Too late for that hug; too late for a kiss; too late to say “I love you”…

It hurt like hell. She didn't know why. She knew why... She ran from there. She broke down into tears. She couldn't bear the pain. She wanted to turn back time. She wanted to run to him, be in his arms. She wanted to kiss him and tell him she will never leave him. She wanted him to know she belonged to him.  He was the one. He always was.

But there she was; a lost soul, in tears, with nowhere to go. She was shattered. She wanted to end her life. It seemed a better option than the pain she felt.

Will he ever know how she feels? Will she ever tell him? Will she ever be able to see him again and not confess?  Will he feel the same? The time has ticked away. What could she do anymore?

Every time she had felt love for him, she ran into another’s arms. She was afraid to lose him. He was the one even when she was with another. It was him all along. Why didn't she realize it before? Was it hard for him to see that? She was herself with him. She enjoyed every minute she spent with him. He was everything to her. She never said.

Did he not see? Why didn't he ask? Why didn't he insist? Why he was equally lost? She had never found any girl worthy of him. Didn't she realize it then? Didn't he?

Why didn't he grab her and say the words while looking into her eyes? Didn't he see the love she tried to hide? Didn't he see the glow on her face and the glitter in her eyes every time she saw him? Didn't he feel the way she felt on every touch? Why did he always say he wanted someone like her and not her? If only he had... Maybe he didn't feel the same way. Maybe he did. But it didn't matter anymore.

A few moments… now if only she could have that with him and tell him how she really feels and live the moments with him, where she could be his and he could be hers and forget the world.

She walked with emotions flowing as fast as her tears and kept walking. She couldn't turn back. She wouldn't be able to stop herself if she did. She was broken. She was lost. He was gone; to another he belonged. She fell, she wept, she screamed, trying to stand back on her feet.  

She wanted God to take her heart away, to take the pain away… but she couldn't part with it. He lived in her heart. She prayed to grant her one moment with him and take anything from her in return.

She lay there weeping, waiting, lost in hope…